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RobBlog Rushing Spring Past the halfway mark in March- already? It seems like April with the mild weather and no snow. According to Environment Canada Weather Forecasting, the snow could return Sunday with a few showers. Yes, we've been spoiled. Heck what's a few flurries mixed with rain? Friends who have been in Florida for the past three weeks can't believe the snow has disappeared since they left the frozen north such a short time ago. This beautiful weather has a lot to do with you and I going "whole hog" as far as spring is concerned. For instance, I have been trying to buy a tent gazebo the past few days. Twice- like ships in the night, I have missed connecting with the department head at a local store, who I needed to talk with to confirm whether or not this gazebo was in stock. Finally, yesterday I talked to him on the telephone. This store has sold 30 of these popular summer items already he tells me and I am not the only customer still trying to buy one. It seems, he says, that more of these gazebos are still in a container on a ship- in the Atlantic I presume, where they'll be transferred to a warehouse before reaching the store. Hearing my disappointment over the phone, the department head- who I'll call Edward, suggested he would call a couple of area stores to see if the product was in stock. He called back in half an hour. Success! He found one in Midland. So, on a beautiful, sunny, warm March afternoon we drove along Highway 12 to Midland- the Heart of Huronia, and picked up the gazebo. It's in a box of course and when the spring weather has moved in for certain- to stay I mean, it will be constructed. You know, slot A into Slot B. Screw nut C onto bolt D and tighten. There's also a BBQ that's sitting in the garden shed, waiting to be assembled as well. That was a very early warm weather purchase back in early February that just couldn't be passed by. It's nice to think about warm days. I even put the cushions on the wicker furniture along the side verandah. It's a favourite spot to have morning coffee in the warm sunshine. IN OTHER NEWS The Harperites quietly cutting funding of internet services to small community centres and hospitals. They just keep getting better don't they? Liar, liar, pants on fire! That guy in LA with the frozen gas peddle? Apparently not telling the truth. It would seem he wanted noteriety and perhaps the opportunity to make some money from the car company. Such a bad boy. Meanwhile, there's a guy in Montreal who could be going to jail for filming movies inside movie theatres and then distributing them on the Internet. First case of it's kind in Canada all thanks to the movie studios pressuring the Harper Government a few years ago to change the law and charge such persons. What about those people who download second-rate copies of his stuff. That old copyright thing. It just keeps rearing it's ugly head- doesn't it?    ********************************************************************************************************************************** Read my New ONLINE BLOG "Rob Reid Online" at BLOGSPOT.COM CLICK on PIC www.robreidonline.blogspot.com with Double R Productions/Garage Door Players Info

Orillia's Community Newspaper

Palace Promulgations  by Dame Clare Voyant  No Tsunami is a Good Tsunami "Xavier Darling, could you bartender me up another Blue Hawaiian?” My Dears, one of my favourite requests here on Poo Poo Pawi. Xavier of course, is the “hubbie” of Roger My Head Pool Boy. He's such a sweetheart and right here in Poo Poo Pawi- just a half hour or so from Honolulu, Xavier and I love to sit and giggle about this and that beneath a swaying coconut palm. We talk about fashions. What's in the news. Things like envisioning what it would have looked like seeing all those downhill boys- over in Vancouver, doing the slopes completely naked with their dingle-berries slapping “mannish thighs” in the B.C. Breeze. My Dears-I mean one just has to giggle at that picture. I must say that Mr Dears. I really must. So we are all still “marooned” on this lovely island in the South Pacific that's called Poo Poo Pawi. It's the closed thing to Heaven I have ever purchased My Dears. I mean that. I really do. Oh my, but it is pretty here. The ocean is so blue. The trees are so tropical. It's the truth Dears. It really is. Thank goodness that old Tsunami sailed right by us on Poo Poo Pawi. Those terrible things are like a plugged up john after the second flush. The water trickled a few feet up the Coo Cui Pui Beach but that was about it. We had high-tailed it to a mountainous area not far from the Grand Hut. We grabbed a BarBee and some food and drink and a few tents and were prepared to spend the night. Roger kept close watch through a pair of powerful binoculars that hung on a strap between his glistening pecs. My Dears, My best friend Hedda Lettuce said to me that she wished she could be those binoculars. We laughed and giggled like a pair of schoolgirls at that! Cook threw some corn on the BBQ and we had Hanomi Pig. A secret family recipe that is absolutely scrumptious My Dears. I mean that. I really do. Well Darlings the sun is out again today. This is Paradise after all- and Hedda and I are going to look for shells along the beach. Of course we both have our 5O's on. Sun protection factor My Dears. We'll keep think of you all and keep the peace back home. Tah for now!

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C O M M U N I T Y  Bulletin Board send your items to swisssh@rogers.com "Friends for Life" are holding a Benefit Dance for their friend Ronda Beavis-Caouette at ODAS Park on Saturday, April 10th, 2010 from 7pm to 1am. Ronda is a 44 year old single mom who has been diagnosed with 4th stage colorectal cancer. DR. KRANE (Orillia's favorite band) will be playing!!! Tickets are on sale at Moe's Tap and Grill - Mississaga St. E. or call Rene Jacobson 326-4337/325-6783 any time. Tickets are $10 in advance and $15 at the door. There will be door prizes, raffle items and so much more...........Come out and enjoy an evening with friends!!!! All proceeds from this event are going directly to Ronda.

Passing the test! by Krista Storey So I guess I passed the test. The Management Team of Swisssh Canada Incorporated has asked me to update 'my blog'. Kind of sounds like something you need a doctor's appointment for dontcha think? But alas, much has happened since my last column so here goes...... I'm tired! We've been bizzy! The Orillia Opera House has been buzzing with activity and things are just getting started. I guess the last update mentioned some upcoming renovations which have been keeping us on our toes. It's all well and good to have projects approved by Council but it's trying to coordinate them with the contractors and getting them scheduled in between shows and of course if you know anything about owning a heritage home...you know that nothing is easy. For the last couple of weeks we were repairing the plaster in the north turret and then painting it. Wow! What a difference! That being the access to the balcony, it gets a lot of traffic so hopefully folks will notice the new paint. The last piece in there is the carpet. I didn't want to do anything with that until the painting was done so while I wait for quotes, we just grin and bear it. The next big painting job was the ceiling at the top of the grand staircase and the ceiling just outside the auditorium doors. The smaller piece was quite easy to do but that huge ceiling way above the stairs was quite the challenge! It took almost a whole day to just set up the scaffolding from the lobby up to the ceiling. Pretty impressive looking I might add. But another 'wow' to that! That job was long overdue! Neither of these were an easy task to accomplish and I want to thank Orm Mathers from Classic Drywall and Plastering for his patience and great customer service. Can't wait to see the new chandeliers up there! Left: Top of Grand Staircase Before After Money has been sitting in the budget since 2000 for washroom renovations with the hopes of updating our accessible washroom facilities. Well, it's finally happening. Last week, we started ripping apart what was the cloak room in the lobby and started turning it into a new accessible bathroom. It is going to be a treat to have a new state of the art washroom for our wheelchair customers to enjoy. Being in our lobby, we will now be able to accommodate Box Office customers when the rest of the building is closed. That in turn moves our cloak room to a proper coat check which will be in what is now the Front of House Manager's office and moving that office over to the other side of the lobby next to the Box Office. This has allowed us to upgrade some old wiring that was going to have to be done anyway and tidy up cabling for our sound system, HVAC system, internet and phone lines. Now we know what everything is and where everything is. While all that is happening, we wait for the final stamp of approval from Council for this year's requests. I'll fill you in on those next time. We are also very busy working on the 2010 Summer Theatre Showcase which is taking place on Wednesday, March 3rd at 5pm. If you want to come and check it out, let Debbie know at fastloudfunny@hotmail.com . We only have room for 104 so get on the list quick.

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at Home with... Baby Jane & Blanche Jane Blanche   Time & Place: a lovely March Morning at Jane and Blanche's mansion on Bleeker Avenue...    ~ Foggin' Trapp Family Blanche! I feel refreshed today. It's a lovely world out there. ~puff~puff~ * Well, Jane Dear, this appears to be a happy turn of events...Spring fever or are you just drunk- again! ~ Now listen here Blanche. What are you intimating Sister Dear?~puff, drag, puff~   *  Darling Jane, I was hoping you had given up on the fags and...... ~ How in the hell many times do I have to tell you Blanche, Fags are my biggest fans!! * Jane! I meant ciggies not homosexuals. ~ (pause) I know that ~ puff, drag, puff~   * Jane Dear you did not. You thought I was referring to those boys who live together and... ~ Ok. OK. I know what they do. So just shut the  *^*^ up Dear Sister! * You know Jane, when I was in all-girls school, I had a little "experience". ~ You had a what Blanche?? * I had a little fling. With Betsy Thorncliffe. It was pleasant and fun. ~ I may just puke. ~puff, drag, puff~ Where's my Vodka?

The Life & Times of Steve C A S T O N Steve's Video on www.stevecaston.ca "click picture" Steve says: I’m sure you’ll get a little giggle out of it... or at least be confused... in a good way... www.stevecaston.ca

A Rose By Any Other Name...  Smile...You're on "Candid Camera"!!  by Deanna This week, I have been pondering a story which hit the front page of the P&T last week. Surveillance cameras in the downtown core? Fortunately for all victims and criminals the article included the locations of all the spycams.   The picture accompanying the article showed the site of one proposed hidden camera- the flag pole outside our Opera House, got me thinking.  This area is the regular spot for a small but loyal group of pacifists who gather each Saturday- rain, snow, wind and shine- to show support for non-violence. Also recently a very well attended political rally was held there. Other strong democratic events have taken place there in the past, including the raising of the Rainbow Flag.  So my reaction in these strange and confusing times was to immediately think  "1984"   Then I looked more closely at the area covered by the camera and saw- what I hope are the main reasons for the placement. There are two banks on the corners of Mississaga and West St.  The West St intersection is clearly seen showing people blindly rushing across to connect with buses due to the new stop for the Laclie and North-bound buses. A very dangerous situation. Knowing that this is soon to become a "safe" place, perhaps seats can be provided for us to sit on as we shop and visit with friends. Seriously, if downtown Orillia is such a "bad" place that “eyes” are needed to watch criminals etc; here is a suggestion already paid for and ready to start ASAP. Street Patrol Police.   Not in patrol cars but friendly walking police officers strolling by chatting, taking a tea at Apple Annies or Moe`s where they can still watch the street in comfort and good company. I rather like that idea. I would like to chat to a police officer and really find out about our city problems at ground level. Just a thought. Love always, Deana xxooxx

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The Story Lady... Once Upon a time there was a baker by the name of Bill. Bill was a pretty nice guy but he was cheap. So cheap- he squeaked as they say. Bill baked buns and croissants and peach pies and tarts. He made excellent money, for he was a good baker. Good bakers are hard to find. Mediocre bakers are a dime a “dozen”. As I said, Bill was a good baker. The real story here is the fact that Bill is cheap. He wouldn't buy a box of Girl Guide Cookies if his life depended on it. He wouldn't throw a quarter into a tag box hung around the next of a young boy- standing outside WalMart, raising funds for his swim team. He never ever sent his Mother a card on her birthday. But Bill did occasionally spend money on himself- a bit at a time. He was cheap- remember? After watching the Olympics, Bill had an urge to travel to Vancouver and see the city. Bob the Baker filled in for Bill the Baker and made the pies and tarts and buns. He was a so-so baker but nobody noticed- really. So, Bill travelled to Vancouver. One day while there he saw a free ticket for admission to the Vancouver Aquarium in a magazine sitting on his side table in his hotel room. He clipped it out and headed to the Aquarium. He saw all kinds of fish. Then Bill decided to take in the Killer Whale show. It was cheap. It was free! So Bill was watching the show. He sat in the front row eating a bag of popcorn. Suddenly a huge whale jumped out of the pool grabbed the bag of popcorn and Bill too and dove back into the pool. Remember they don't call them “killer” whales for nothing. The End.

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On the Net with Marge & Roy Hi Roy. Swisssh. Swisssh. Swisssh! ~ Now Marge. Don't now Marge me- Mister! ~Take a pill Marge. Life's too short. Look here. Dame Clare is on Poo Poo Pawi again. ~She's a riot. Want me to read her column to you- out loud? Oh Roy, would you- please ~ Of course Dear... I'm joking Roy. Honestly. Just let me know when you are finished with Swisssh. ~ It may be a while Marge. Fine. I'm going to take a hot bath. With huge suds and all. ~That's nice Marge. Tell me how the movie ends. Grrrrr. Men. &*&^%!!

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SHOP ORILLIA

Louise Fox Dealing With Unhappy Customers Startling Customer Service Statistics Only 4% of your customers complain. For every complaint your business receives, there are 26 other customers with unresolved complaints that you will never hear from and 6 of those customers have serious complaints. A dissatisfied customer will tell up to 10 other people about it. Approximately 13% of those will tell up to 20 people about it. Most customers who complain to you will do business again with you if you resolve their complaint satisfactorily. It costs 5 to 6 times more to attract new customers than to keep old ones. Customer service is governed by the rule of 10. It costs $10,000 to get a new customer, it takes only 10 seconds to lose one, and 10 years to get over it or for the problem to be resolved. The lifetime value of a customer, or the amount of purchases that customer would make over 10 years, is worth more than the cost or your returning their purchase price of one item. Here are Some Tips for Dealing with Unhappy Customers Listen to the caller's problem or concern and understand exactly what his or her problem is. Let the caller vent. Remember it is not important to fix blame for the problem, it is more important to fix the problem. Relate to the problem by apologizing in a general way or broad sense. You can apologize without taking blame. Provide a plan of action. If it is a problem you can’t personally solve, get the person who can solve the problem. Make sure any action plan is one you can deliver. More online at www.etiquetteladies.com e-mail louise at louise@etiquetteladies.com

Swell & "Swissshy" by Sally Swell                          Entertainment Stuffin' Such I Love You Phillip Morris A policeman, Steve Russell (Carrey), leaves his family because he's Gay and eventually winds up in the penitentiary. He meets the love of his life, a sensitive fellow inmate named Phillip Morris perfectly portrayed by Ewan McGregor. Stop. I may start crying. How "Brokeback" romantic! The time is right for another Gay Hir Movie. Oh yes, the boys attempt escape from prison. Isn't that cute?. Clash of the Titans - or "300 Spartans & Gidget- Go to Rome" The mortal son of the god Zeus embarks on a perilous journey to stop the underworld and its minions from spreading their evil to Earth as well as the heavens. Sam Worthington (Yum!) and Liam Neeson star. Opens in 2010  Do we really need another Robin of the Hood? Apparently so. Step into the frame Russell Crowe. In 13th century England, Robin and his band of marauders confront corruption in a local village and lead an uprising against the crown that will forever alter the balance of world power- at least until James Bond comes along. Whether thief or hero, one man from humble beginnings will become an eternal symbol of freedom for his people and a reason to wear green tights. You'll have to wait until May to see this man in tights! Alice tumbles down a rabbit-hole one hotsummer's afternoon in pursuit of a White Rabbit she finds herself in Wonderland and face to face with Johnny Depp-The Mad Hatter. Alice has been shot using 3-D and performance capture technology similar to that used for "Beowulf." The film is in Disney Digital 3-D and IMAX 3-D. See you next time! Sal

Since July 20, 2006 from Double R Productions   e-mail:  swisssh@rogers.com Click on my pretty face to go back to the top of this page!!